Sometimes we reach points where we are not sure what to do to try to change. It’s not that we aren’t trying. We are trying. We just feel like the progress is so slow that we question whether or not we’ve even made any progress. We might have some days-or even weeks or months-where we start to feel like we are making a little bit of progress and then something happens and our negative thoughts creep up, causing us to fall backward and the progress to feel like it has vanished with a poof. Our old ways of thinking take control and any changes that we started to make seem to have only been temporary and not the lasting change we had hoped for.
Part of the slow progress can be due to how how hard it can be to change our stubborn subconscious mind to start believing the positives more. Our brains might try to resist the positive mental changes that we are trying to make as if the positivity is a vampire and our brains are wearing a garlic necklace and holding up a stake. It can be hard trying to convince our brains that the negative thoughts are lying to us when it is what they’ve been telling us for so long.
It can also be hard when we wonder how much progress we need to even make to get closer to where we want to be in a certain area and/or for the Universe to start giving us some signs that it will happen soon. And the truth is that there is no definitive answer a lot of times. Because it will be different for everyone. We all have different journeys and although we might wish they could go as we would ideally like them to, the Universe inevitably throws us for loops. Sometimes our lives end up much different than how we used to imagine them and sometimes, if we’re nowhere near as far as we thought we would be at whatever age or point in our lives we are at this moment, we start doubting if we will ever get to where we want to be. We might even feel lost and not know where it is we want to be anymore. We might even think that we are failures, unloveable, unchangeable, or whatever the negative thoughts try to tell us. The negative thoughts try to convince us that they’re telling us the truth and it can be easy to believe them. It can be especially easy to fall for what the negative thoughts are feeding us if we’re feeling unconfident, insecure, our self esteem is low, we have anxiety or depression, etc.
In the moment that the negative thoughts start berating us with their lies, it can be hard to stop them and to counter them with the positive truths. If they take control, try to get through the moment and the negative feelings as best as you can. Try to keep going. If you cannot counter the negative thoughts with positive ones in the moment, try to distract yourself in other ways or even cry yourself to sleep if you need to. Let the thoughts come and then pass again as they usually do. Then, when you’ve calmed down a bit, try to remind yourself that the negative thoughts are lying and that the positives are the truth, whether or not you can see it.
It can also be hard to see the positives when we’re feeling low and others try to tell us that what we want will happen when we least expect it or when the time is right. Because in reality, something that we want to happen for us might never happen. Whether we keep trying for it or try giving up that dream, there’s no guarantee that it will happen for us. And that can be hard; it can hurt to accept that possibility. We could stop expecting it to happen and it might present itself to us or it might not. The right time may come for us or it might not. Again, it’s all different for everyone. We are all on our own confusing roller coaster of a journey in our lives. In the end we’ll never know what might or might not happen in our lives, both good and bad. Sometimes, as challenging as it might be, the thing we have to do is attempt to find acceptance that what we want might not ever happen for us, while still trying to hang on to hope that it might someday happen for us. And possibly trying to find alternatives that we can learn to accept. No matter what choice we make, we still might end up regretting whatever decision we try. And if we do, we have to try to forgive ourselves for it. We have to try to keep going and learning from our mistakes and choices. We have to try to see our choices as learning opportunities, especially if we don’t fully know which choice to choose. We still have to choose either left or right on the path. We have to accept any consequences there may be and try not to beat ourselves up if we end up not liking the choice we made. We need to search for the positives and the lessons in the choice that we made and remember that we don’t know what might happen with any choice we make. In a way, whatever happens to us is a but like Russian Roulette in that we don’t truly know what will happen. All we can do is try to hope that things will work out in some way and keep trying, even when they don’t work how we had planned or hoped. While it might be wicked hard, we have to try to find silver linings and find even a speck of something good and positive. Every choice we make will help shape our lives in some way, big or small, whether we notice it or not. We may not be able to change our past, nevertheless we can learn from it. As the old American Girl Club motto says: “Look to the past. Learn for the future.” It may be easier said than done, however we need to work on learning to appreciate at least some small part of where our paths are taking us. Whether or not it’s in the direction we had imagined, we need to step back, pause, look where we came from and try to find something to be grateful about it.